Archive for May, 2008

4 Month Plan…

{ May 19, 2008 @ 10:30 am } · { Self Improvement }
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I have come to a conclusion. I am going to change the way that I live my life. Why? Because apparently if I don’t I’m going to die at 58 years old. Yes, that’s according to death clock online which is a highly unreliable source, I know but still. Apparently it doesn’t even matter that I’m horribly overweight. All that matters is that I’m pessimistic. That seems to be the clincher. If I was fat and optimistic I could live until 92. So what is my grand master plan you ask? Lose the weight. I’m sure that if I lost some weight and stayed pessimistic I could live a little past 58. That works for me!

Now, the details of my plan. During the next four months I plan to:

-lose at least 20 pounds (by going to the gym and altering the way that I eat)

-get my social work license so I can finally be a LMSW

-get a new damn job because this one isn’t working out as well as I hoped it would

-get my provisional license so that I am eligible for school social work positions

This is my grand master plan for the next four months. This started Sunday, May 18th and will end Thursday, Sept. 18th. So during this time I will attempt to achieve at least three out of the four goals. If I got all four then I’m a superstar! And not just in the Mario Party kind of way. So there you have it. I am attempting to change my life starting now. This blog will come in fairly useful as I attempt to chronicle this feat of life changing status.

So as of May 18th, I am a weight that I will so not put down here. I’ve gone to the gym once this week. I’m doing good so far! Go me!

Ignorance is Bliss…

{ May 14, 2008 @ 10:29 pm } · { Whining Time }
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If that’s true, that might explain why there are so many damn happy people walking around. And why I just can’t seem to be happy lately. Between my job, my coworker (yes, hateful one is still just as hateful two months later) and ACS (hot mess those guys) I’ve just about had it with the human race. Now add in the fact that once again someone is attacking Brian over useless crap and we’re rounding out with a banner week… and it’s only Wednesday. I’m about ready to just pack everything up and move to an island where stupidity would not be allowed. This would apparently ban the vast majority of the world.

I’m just really grateful for my very awesome friends (both RL and Internet). Just the support that I get makes the days seem a little bit more bearable. And save me from slaughtering stupid coworkers. Oh and speaking of stupid coworkers. I have got to share this one with the world.

Here is the background of this latest incident of stupidity. I’m a social worker at an agency in New York. We have a parent support group and yesterday Glamour Magazine came to the group to give a presentation to the women about beauty and wellness. They also brought along gift bags with makeup that could be found at your local drug store. Now me, being me, I wanted some of the stuff but I was a good girl and backed off. Luckily my director is awesome and totally snagged some stuff for me and my friend/co-worker. So anyway, we’re dividing our booty (i.e. kicking and pushing each other to get the good stuff) when she found a lipstick that she liked. She asked me what I thought of the color and I said it looked good. Now here comes hateful ass, we’ll just call him Slap Bait to simplify things. Slap Bait decides to interject his opinion into the conversation that did not include him.

He tells my friend that color doesn’t look good on her because it wasn’t her color. Which is true but we already concluded that if she wore the right outfit, it wouldn’t matter. But of course, he being a male and all knows much more about makeup than the ones that actually wear it. And then he says what had to be the stupidest thing he’s said… this week. Nothing will top the time where he said that this group of Cubans that looked at him wrong should go back to thier own country. But he came close this time.

He proceeds to tell us that he’s an expert on hair and makeup because he has an alter ego named Anton… and he’s a gay black male that’s obsessed with fashion and makeup. Please excuse me while I hurl. Now I would like to point out that Slap Bait is in fact a short, Jewish questionably heterosexual male. That’s all I’m going to say about that. The offensive factor is high. I’m prejudiced for saying that the pregnant guy could have been lying. But he’s not prejudiced for that one. Oh yeah, that’s balanced. And one of these days I’m going to shove his short behind down the stairs.

Okay, I’m done ranting out. I’m going to now eat my baked polenta and mushrooms while worrying about going to work tomorrow and facing Slap Bait.